


Connected

by MikoAkako



Category: Death Note
Genre: Abusive Relationship, F/M, One-Sided Relationship, Spoilers, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikoAkako/pseuds/MikoAkako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The decision was inevitable. The chains around her chest pulled down on her every second, killing her as surely as a heart attack.  One sided MisaxLight.  Spoiler for end of series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. January 28, 2010

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
> Spoilers: Do not read if you don't know how the series ends.

Misa never believed those people who claimed to have psychic connections. Sure twins were closer then regular siblings, but to be able to feel each other's emotions? Ridiculous lies thought up by the media to make a good movie. Then why, at 6:55pm on the 28th of January, did she suddenly feel totally, completely alone?

Six years ago she had fallen in love. She had fallen in love with Light Yagami, teen genius. She had never understood the connection between them; at times he seemed to love her, but the majority of the time he kept himself distant. She never gave up the hope that he would grow to love her.

Ever day she played her part, keeping herself the perfect girlfriend, the perfect servant. Every day Light would come up with another excuse to stay away from her – L needs me for this, or, we just got another report so I have to work late. But Misa had never been stupid. She would play along, act hurt but understanding.

Misa knew that nothing real would ever happen between Light and her, but she was hooked and it was so easy. Misa had taken the easy way out ever since she could remember. She dropped out of school – she had been top of her class – to pursue a career as a model. Being a model had seemed so easy at the time. She never had to think, just look pretty. Looking pretty was easy for Misa. Just like loving Light.

Light was beautiful in a way Misa could only dream of. He seemed to radiate compassion and beauty, using it to draw people to him. No one could resist him, even Misa. Especially Misa. But the difference was – she didn't want to resist. Even as she felt herself being pulled down by the beautiful man, she surrendered heart and soul to him.

Surrendering to Light was like admitting defeat when death was inevitable. It held the same kind of detached feeling for Misa. Loving Light felt like that time she went to the beach and had strayed out just a little too far. The current had swept her away and after struggling to keep afloat, she had simply let go. Someone had saved her, but in those few moments, she felt totally at peace. When the man had rescued her, all the weight of the world fell back on her shoulders.

And that was what she felt at 6:55pm on the 28th of January, 2010. One moment she was free, for six years she had been free to let the current take her under. Then, without warning the world crashed down on her, threatening to hurt her and make her work for every breath. She wasn't aware she had stopped breathing until the director of the film she was shooting shouted for a doctor as she fell to the ground.

But living comes easily to those who have done it before. Making an effort to draw a breath, Misa stood, shaking. She laughed it off, calling for water in as annoying a voice as possible and sending it back when it came without ice. When she left the studio, she wrapped herself in her jacket, refusing to look at anything in case it was too much too take. It had been six years since she had thought for herself, and she wasn't sure she knew how.


	2. February 14, 2011

Sometimes Misa still felt Light. She often wondered if their connection was so great it bound her to him even in death. Sometimes, when she was really lonely, she would wish he was alive so she wouldn't feel so alone. Her prayers were never answered.

One year after he died, Misa visited his grave but she didn't bring flowers – she didn't need them. The chain around her heart threatened to strangle her as she fell wordlessly to the ground in front of the headstone. Grass had grown in where it had been bare earth but the spot was otherwise unchanged from the year before. The headstone looked empty with just his name and his date of birth to death. Misa had pleaded that something be written – anything – to remember the person Light had been, but Light's family refused to do him any honor beyond paying for a grave.

Misa didn't know how she had survived for a year without Light. The initial high had worn off quickly, leaving her a complete mess. She sat at home for weeks alone, unable to move for fear of the loss that was almost a physical pain. Everything in her apartment reminded her of Light. Finally she forced herself to clean up and get another job, hard that she had ignored her manager for so long.

It was easier then she expected to get back into modeling and acting. The brief hiatus from her career had only made her that much more popular – on top of the fact that her boyfriend had died. Causes of death were kept hidden from the public, but Misa had to live each day knowing he was murdered.

Misa was almost able to get through a whole day without crying now, over a year later. She had learned to live life one moment at a time, taking care to never think to the future – now so dark and empty without Light there to guide her. Sometimes the world would come crashing in on her again, though, trying to drown her. Every time she managed to rise above it once again, but each time it took longer and she knew she was losing her grip on life.

Valentines Day was especially hard. Misa didn't know how she survived the first. On that day, the world conspired against her. Billboards and TV commercials taunted her and dug the knife in further to her still gaping wound. Christmas was only slightly easier. She bought a tree but didn't decorate it. The bare branches somehow seemed fitting for the empty apartment.

The commercials started early the next year, giving her ample time to be cut and broken all over again. Sometimes she expected to see Light come through the door with flowers, but it remained shut. On Valentines Day, Misa walked past a shop selling teddy bears and was seized by the urge to buy Light something nice. She was standing in the checkout line when reality hit. The fit left her gasping for breath and clinging to the wall for support.

The decision was inevitable. The chains around her chest pulled down on her every second, killing her as surely as a heart attack. Misa took out her dress – the one she had been saving for her wedding – and carefully put it on. She secured ribbons and bows and lace where needed but never looked at herself in the mirror. She put on her make-up and did her hair the same way, afraid to see the dress and have the chain pull tighter.

Her feet knew where to go even if she didn't. They took her to a rooftop and Misa had to avert her eyes to avoid the place Light had taken her to eat on one of their rare dates. As Misa stood on the edge of the building, all of her memories came flooding back and she allowed her chain to drag her to her knees.

She didn't know how long she lay there crying, but by that time, time didn't matter to her anymore. The only real thing in the world was the pain that burned through her, increasing every minute until it was only a matter of time before it consumed her. She stood shakily, reaching her hand out so Light could help her balance as she looked at the setting sun. At 6:55 on the 14th of February, 2011, Misa was finally, truly free.


End file.
